2.19.2009

I'm Boned or, How I Would Do on a Deserted Island

Hey kids, I thought I'd lighten my mood after depressing the crap out of myself in my last post. So, I decided to examine the contents of my pockets; pants, jacket, or otherwise, and based on those items, see how well I would fare if I were, for some reason or another, marooned on an island by myself. So, without further ado, I give you, the s@#$ in my pockets.

1. Cellphone- This would largely be useless, being on a deserted island and all I really don't think I'd get a very strong signal. So, making a call for help would be out but, I'm under the impression, and I might be making this up, that there is a GPS chip in my phone. Maybe my rescuers will use that to find me. If nothing else, I might get a sense of security in it's familiarity. That or I could use it as a throwing weapon.

2. Wallet- Another item that would benefit me in no way, kind of like it's not helping me now but, it would undoubtedly be in my pocket because I always carry it with me, no matter how empty it is. Things aren't looking too good for me but, at least they can identify my body when they find my remains.

3. Gameboy Advance- Sure I'll be dying of starvation and exposure but hey, I won't be bored.

4. Keys- Hope? If I were a normal and manually competant person I might be able to use them as a clumsy sort of tool. If only I had some adeptness for manual labor. At least I could fixate on my key fob and have my own Wilson.

5. Rosary- Maybe if I pray hard enough God will send me a pizza...

6. Candy Cane- I Have food! Kind of.

That's it. That's all I have. Wow, I would be so screwed it's not even funny.

1 comment:

philosolapis said...

You could always unleash your mcguyverabiliity on the cellphone and create some kind of short burst radio. Or you could tie a bunch of trees together and use the wallet as a very tiny sail.